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| Inside Pandora's Box |
Staring into the crowded mall, I thought of the never ending if only’s. If only I had studied. If only I had listened. If only I spent more time learning. Lots of "If only's" festered through my mind like flies to abandoned food.
Stop! Time for analysis. I studied for the Quiz Bowl of the 8th National Dental Month. But why did I not win? And here it comes again, ladies and gentlemen, the if only’.
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A whole new world opened. A world of fantasy. A world where I can do anything. It almost seems like a genie's lamp was rubbed. Where if only’s became reality. Fairytales and unicorns raced through my mind with those annoying two words.
My mother always told me to ‘think outside the box’. In my perception, outside the box of unbounded imagination. We can’t think everyday of what could have beens, but what we can actually do. Stop taking a trip down to memory lane and forget your regrets. We have to move on.
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What can I do? I thought as I finally become aware of my surroundings. Well, I could start studying. I could realize my mistakes. I could probably tell my mom. I, I, I don’t know. Arggghh! I can’t think of anything . Beaten by my own anguish, I decided to take a peek inside the box.
Success! Yes! People are congratulating me. They are surrounding me. My mom's so proud of me. My teachers surround me with the widest smiles. Fellow students peer at me with secret envy. I was so joyful. I look down and see milk spilt across the clean tiled floor. Crowds screaming. Wait! Milk? This is so not part of my fantasy. I blinked the mist away.
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The real world crashed into me again, this time reaching inside the box of my imagination. And milk! Was that irony from the saying "Don't cry over spilt milk"? Was that even supposed to be funny? My mind barred me from probably the best moment of my life for such a corny joke! How could .... Wait! I need to move on. The world has to keep on spinning. Dreams have to keep on coming. Thoughts have to be analyzed. People need to keep living and …. My mother is impatient to go home and she needs me. Now.
Oh well, maybe I can battle with my mind next time I raced to the car parked outside. With a huge sigh, I sat down. Okay, here's more time to think. But there are just so much more to do. So many reports to make. So tiring. So frustrating. I have to work fast. If only I had a little more time ….. . Damn! For all that the if only’s are back again.
February 3, 2011 at 5:34 AM
If only's have probability of existence. You know what ingredient needed? Faith. You are outstanding, witty, bright, smart, judgmental, etc. I think all adjectives ponder you, but not one. Prove that you are faithful. It's just a comment. One day you'll realize an amazing adventure enter your life. We have a time to change. We have our Savior, The King of Kings, The Prince of Peace. Anyhow, job well done, little miss! ^_^